A Bengali Wedding in Kolkata

I was invited by my friend to a Bengali wedding in Kolkata. I spent a week with my friends, attended the aiburobhat and looked for a kurta, pyjama and sari and other accessories like bracelets, earrings, necklace, and bag. It all has to match the color of the sari that in the end, I chose. Choosing the sari was not an easy task. There helped me her friends and still, we spent an entire afternoon in Burrabazar. We looked for the perfect sari that was good, nice and at a reasonable price.

In the end, I chose one red Banarasi saree with brown and gold border and another one with a pink and purple border. The truth is that we were a bit messy and we were looking for the bag until the afternoon before the wedding.

The wedding was in Howrah, and it was the first time that I was going to cross the river. We found a bus next to our house that took us to Howrah Railway Station after half an hour. We had the problem later. We did not know Howrah and we did not know where the marriage hall that the family had rented for the wedding was.

We call the family, ask the people and the taxi drivers. It was a complete chaos. Every time we called the family they gave us a different address as a reference, and we did not understand any of the names, in any way. Further, with the noise of the station behind, there was no way to hear anything.

In the end, my friend called me and gave me the instructions, and there we took another bus to the marriage hall. Here weddings are usually held in halls, not entirely hotels, but buildings prepared to accommodate many people and with food to feed them. This was an ordinary room but decorated with lots of lights and flowers. When we arrived it was already 5:30, but no one had arrived yet. There were only some members of the bride's family, and nothing more.

My friend was getting ready in a room where women did not stop coming and going. She had to change to put on the sari. One of her friends and perhaps her aunt helped her with the sari. She looked very beautiful, and seeing how she put on those 5 meters of cloth around the body is an ordeal. After three or four unsuccessful attempts, in the end, she managed to dress it more or less appropriately. Even so, throughout the night she had to fix some parts because it got misaligned.

At about 6 o'clock more people began to arrive, especially photographers. There were about four or five who did not stop taking pictures of the bride and relatives. I do not know how many photos we got with my friend, but every time they called us twice. It was first with the friend, and then with her other friends, and then with the father and the aunt. They left us blind with so much flash.

First, with the consent of the bride and groom, the guardians determine the auspicious day from the calendar based on each other's preferences. In the case of marriage, auspicious day refers to the day on which the marriage is mentioned in the calendar.

Fixing the wedding day means getting the bride engaged on behalf of the groom. And getting engaged means starting the marriage ceremony.

Patipatra is done at the engagement ceremony. This certificate is written by the priest in the presence of both the parties. The marriage certificate has the signature of the bride and groom. Then there is no opportunity for either party to object.

Patipatra is usually done in Ashirbad Asar. But many people don't do it. Then comes the Ashirbad ceremony. Its main ingredients are paddy, durba grass, lamp, sandalwood, betel nut, betel leaf and big fish. According to the calendar, the auspicious day is blessed.

The bridegroom blesses the bride and the bridegroom blesses the groom. Many people also give gifts as blessings. For the married life of the bride and groom to be happy, that is the prayer that is done in the blessing ceremony.

After the blessing comes the ceremony of gaye holud. There is also a date for the ceremony of rubbing turmeric. Here too, on the auspicious day, turmeric is grind. 5 or 7 women together do it. This turmeric is then applied on the body on the day of gaye holud.

After the gaye holud, this is the wedding ceremony. A two-part ceremony, one 'Saj Bie' and the other 'Basi Bie'. Both events are held at the bride's house. But sometimes basi biye are also held at the groom's house.

'Saj Bie' is the main part of the wedding. In this episode, the bride and groom are welcomed by circumambulating 7 times around a fire. At the end of the ceremony, the bride and groom give auspicious glances to both, at the same time garlands are exchanged. After chanting the mantra, the priest joins the right hands of the bride and groom together with Kush.

Then the episode of 'Basi Biye'. After worshiping various gods and goddesses in the Basi wedding, the groom puts vermilion on the bride's forehead. Then both of them circumambulate the fire 7 times.

Then the groom and his family finally arrived, and in half an hour the wedding rituals began. The groom looked very serious as the wedding rituals like Mala Badal, Subho Drishti and Sindur Daan began.

But we were late and we had to leave before everything was completed. We had at least three-quarters of an hour to travel to the Guest House, although it depends on traffic. And the ceremony lasts for hours and hours. So after dinner, we said goodbye to the bride and we left.